Can you really manifest your desires into reality?
It’s been a widely discussed subject in both personal development circles and popular culture. But even though it may be a commonly asked question, the answer can be less clear than ever before but for some it can be a simple fix, So can you really manifest your desires into reality?
Can you really manifest your desires into reality?
It’s the start of the year and everyone is talking about goals, vision boards, yearly themes, manifestation lists… Everyone has their method and according to them, their way is the only way.
Well what if it wasn’t? What if there was no right or wrong way to Manifesting your desires into reality? What if it was more about finding your own way?
Did the words ”Ughh, this sounds like work” just go through your mind 🤦♀️? Or perhaps it was “I should’ve clicked on that other website.”
Be careful now before moving on, because if you’re looking for quick, easy manifesting tips… I urge you to ask yourself, “Do I really want to learn the art of manifesting? Or would I prefer to go down the realm of wishful thinking?”
Chances are you’re here because:
- You’re up with all the hype, you’re ready to manifest your best year and you’re looking for tools and information
- You’ve heard it/done it all before but it doesn’t work for you, you’re looking for a solution and answer to your problem
- You’re curious, you want to know if there is any real science behind it or is it really just some hippy “The Secret” book stuff.
So let’s break it down.
What is Manifesting?
The Merriam Webster dictionary says:
“To manifest is to: be able to be seen, clearly shown or visible. To be readily perceived by the senses and especially by the sense of sight.”
Manifestation Expert, Kathrin Zenkina or more popularly known as The Manifestation Babe states manifesting is :
“The phenomenon that occurs when something that was once a part of your imagination becomes actualized into physical reality.”
To wish however according to Oxford Languages dictionary is to “feel or express a strong desire or hope for something that cannot or probably will not happen”.
It is important to know the difference between wishing and manifesting our desires, as when our wishes do not come to fruition or the manifestation process takes longer than we anticipated, we can fall into the hands of our inner critic.
This is why I am such a huge advocate of doing the inner work! Without tools and support we can fall into patterns of self-sabotage and allow our feelings of self doubt to fill us and keep us stuck.
But when we have the right tools and support, we can build our inner strength, resilience and motivation to claim our dreams.
Why Manifest your desires?
It’s human nature to desire more – to search, understand and fulfil our full potential. Not to mention the dopamine kick we get out of fantasizing about a more glamorous life.
However, I also believe that the desire for something more in our life is driven by Abraham Maslow’s “Hierarchy of Needs”. According to a paper written in 1943 by the American psychologist, titled “ A theory of human motivation” humans have five core needs that form the basis of human motivation. The original theory being that each level needs to be addressed before moving to the next. Those five core needs in order are:
- Physiological needs
- Safety needs
- Love and belonging needs
- Esteem needs
- Self-actualization needs
We can be sure that whatever we desire or are attempting to manifest lies within at least one of these core needs… a safe home, a certain level of health, money, relationships, skills, accomplishments, etc… they all exist somewhere in these five levels. They are the motivational drive behind Manifesting your desires
Personally I believe and have experienced that it is much easier to manifest our desires when the previous level’s needs are met, because we are better able to regulate our nervous systems and emotional state, and more able to focus when our basic needs are met.
How to manifest?
As I mentioned earlier, I don’t think there is one particular way to manifest “the year of our dreams” but there are some key fundamentals to manifesting backed up by science to consider.
- Awareness (what and why) : We need to know what we want, what we truly want and why.
- Motivation (reality and direction): Where are we at right now (our reality), where will we be when we have the thing we want (our direction) and what is the driving force that will get us there.
- The cue (will I or won’t I initiate the action): What will initiate us into action? We don’t have the things we want for a reason. Manifestation is a co-creation process. Once we have the awareness and the motivation, the question is, are we willing to step out of our current reality – our current thoughts, beliefs and actions created from our past to have what we want?
- Action steps now and in the future (thinking and planning): This is where we act on that decision to either initiate the cue or shut off the cue. Is there enough value and motivation behind the desire, to act on this cue (or evolution of the cue) over and over again, until we become the person with the thing we desired?
- Emotional state (with self and the desire): When we are clear with what we want it’s amazing who and what we begin to attract – people, opportunities and challenges come into our reality – all here to prepare and take us where we want to go. It is important to be aware of and observe our emotional state so we are able to see our manifestations come into sight and be ready to act and draw them into our life.
Take a moment to read the extended version of these key fundamentals and reflect on your own desires:
- What ones have manifested and what ones haven’t come to fruition yet?
- What have you learnt about yourself in looking at the key fundamentals?
- Where have desires fallen into place easily?
- What desires took longer to come into reality or where harder to receive?
- What ones are you waiting on? And do you need to work on any of the key fundamentals to move into alignment with it?
We all want manifesting to happen at the snap of our fingers and to be easy. And I think the world has created this sense of cruel optimism that it can happen this way. “If only we believed more, trusted more, thought more positively, then it could happen.” Well maybe for 1 in 20 of the things we are trying to manifest, but honestly, I believe that the 1 in 20 happen because we’ve already done ‘the work’ on these five fundamentals to get into alignment with that desire.
What are the Manifesting styles?
According to Human Design we all have a style of manifesting that works for us, which is a thought that I find incredibly freeing… not all of us need to create a vision board, a specific list of things we want and by when.
Active or Passive
This is about how our physical body connects with our environment and how we experience life, in this case our desires. Are you someone who is active and likes to move around, shake things up and have things to do? Or are you more passive and like to float through or be more still in your space and watch what is happening?
When it comes to manifesting this is about actively participating in the manifestation process or setting intentions and letting them come to you.
Manifesting your desires for Specific or Non-Specific
This is about how our conscious mind visually takes in information. Do you have a focussed (specific) or a peripheral (non-specific) view perspective? In other words, is it more natural for you to remember in specific details or in a more broad, general way?
When it comes to manifesting this can look like being very specific in the details or leaning more into the idea, theme and feelings of what we want to manifest.
Isn’t it liberating to know we’re not all created the same? And if for instance you’re more passive like me, that you no longer need to cringe or force yourself to make a vision board? Instead you can float in your imagination, full of creativity and inspiration and set your intention from there. Bliss!
Why can’t I Manifesting my desires?
Reason 1: Is that really true?
Firstly, remember everything is happening for us, not to us. Is it really not working? What if life was sending us situations and challenges to ultimately lead us to our desires?
What if life is actually providing us with the skills, the resilience, the experience and the mindset in preparedness to have what we desire?
Reason 2: Low on our values system
Perhaps you do have it, just not in the way you expected. If you have been manifesting wealth for instance… perhaps this wealth isn’t showing up as the financial wealth you were aiming for, but instead as a wealth of knowledge or personal connection because they are of a higher value to you.
We need to be clear in our manifesting and make sure we are manifesting something that is of value to us – not something that is stuck in someone else’s values and therefore meaningless to us.
Reason 3: Obsessing over the outcome
Thirdly, I have found that when we obsess over what we want, we are affirming that we don’t have what we want. We give this so much power and attention, that it actually creates tension and we push it further away.
Our inner critic can get the best of us and we can get stuck in emotions or stories that keep us in the same old patterns we want to break free from. We get stuck in fantasy and wishful thinking and become disconnected from the here and now.
The key here is to tap into the evolution of you – “who do you become in bringing what you want to life?” How does that person hold themselves, how do they connect with the here and now, what thoughts, behaviours and actions would they take in this moment?
How can I get better at manifesting my desires?
There are some days that I wish I could wave my Fairy Godmother Wand and make it simple but manifesting is all about co-creation with the universe.
To be in relationship with the universe means we need to:
- understand and love ourselves for who we are
- enjoy our own evolution process (even in the hard times) because we are always growing
- take responsibility for ourselves and the lives we live with love and kindness.
These things take time, space and a whole lot of love, support and connection to cultivate but it’s worth it.
To be in a place within yourself, to wholeheartedly say “I love my life” …
is a beautiful place to be in and one that offers a foundation where dreams really can be a part of your reality.
Here are some of the things I have personally learnt about improving the art of manifesting:
- Don’t push it (re-read Reason 3: Obsessing over the outcome)
- Remember what we desire isn’t outside of us, it’s a natural extension of us – visualise the difference. The extension feels so much more flowing and easier right?
- Practise affirming what we already believe and know to be true. I highly suggest reading my blog “Positive affirmations make me want to puke” to learn more on how to do this one.
- Find out your innate human design manifesting style and see how it works out for you. When I try to behave like a Specific Active Manifestor things become hard but when I let go and lean into the Specific Passive Manifestor that I am, I feel the difference in my nervous system and things flow into my life a whole lot easier.
- Get into the observer seat of life and regularly reflect – what do our daily thoughts and actions say about us, and do they align with what we are wanting to manifest into our reality? If not, what are you prepared to do about it?
- Know your values and life mission. Do you really desire what you want and is it a high value and priority in your life? If not, what are you trying to prove to yourself or others?
- Practice gratitude because it changes our whole perception to life. It’s easy to be grateful when things are going right but when they’re not, we can get trapped in anger, frustration, bitterness and disappointment. Look for the gifts in life and you’ll see everything is on your way, not in your way.
- Be a co-creator with life. If life was your lover, what is your relationship like with it and how can you enhance your connection with it and the way you bring your desires into reality?
- Our internal world reflects in our external world. Increase self-kindness, rest and rejuvenation. We all know the effects of stress and burnout and how it plays out in our minds and bodies. When we are kinder to ourselves, we are kinder to others and our world. If there is more ease and flow within our body, there will be more ease and flow outside of our body.
- Get curious with our beliefs and stories on Self-Worth. We can get caught up in believing we are either worthy or not worthy. Or even that we have to find, increase or practice self-worth. Truth is we are always worthy, it’s only our perception that gets in the way. So work on clearing anything that tells you otherwise.
Want to work through the 10 Steps of Manifesting together?
I love helping my clients make sense of their world. As a Holistic Counsellor and Human Design reader, I am able to help you see yourself in a whole new light, meet you where you’re at and support you in deconditioning and coming alive.
Book your free 1:1 call and we can discuss where you’re at, where you need support and how we can work together.
Amy helps her clients move from this idea that they are broken or missing pieces of their own puzzle, to owning their story, claiming back all parts of themselves and merging together as one team to allow them to rest and be in their deepest expression.
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