Getting into alignment with our desires

When we think of desires it’s often this idea that what we desire is outside of us, it is something we don’t have and we want it. This type of thinking creates tension, rigid thinking and a sense of lacking in our lives.

Whereas if we move into the belief that our desire is an extension of us, a natural evolution of our path, it invites a sense of ease and flow. We already know it to be true and available to us, creating a sense of growth in our lives and that the desire will appear in the “right” time.

So how do we shift our mindset around this?

Five fundamentals to getting what we want

I believe there are five key fundamentals to intimately explore in relation to our desires so we can bring them into our reality. They are:

1. Awareness – what do we want and why?
2. Motivation – what’s our motivation for the desire?
3. Cue – decision point – are we willing to change to have what we desire?
4. Action – what do we need to do to get into alignment with the desire?
5. Emotional state – are we in survival emotions or creative/elevated emotions?

Let’s explore them further.

Awareness (what and why)

We need to know what we want because getting into alignment with your desires may be the what but not the why. We can do this by asking ourselves the following four questions to get clear.

Q1: What do I want and why?

What do I desire? Why do I desire it? What does having it give me? Do I only want it because I’ve been taught to want it or created a habit to desire it? What would it mean if I didn’t want it?

For example, is it $100 cash or is it actually what the $100 will pay for – eg. fresh, organic produce for my family each week because health and wellness is a high value for you and your family.

Or is it $100 cash to spend at my leisure, to simply enjoy the spontaneity of spending it and connecting with others, or the confidence and security it provides when I save or invest it? 

Q2: Why don’t I have the thing I want?

How does not having this thing benefit me? Am I willing to change the dynamics of my relationship with it?

For example, not having the $100 cash might mean I don’t have to have difficult discussions with my partner about money habits – keeping me safe, loved and connected (or at least this is what the current story might say). If I did have the $100 each week, in this scenario I might have to change my thoughts and approach to conflict management, open communication, partnership ground rules, etc. 

Q3: What are my values and does this thing I desire fit in with those values?

Do I know what my values are? Does the evidence really suggest that I want this thing?

Really consider this because if it doesn’t tie into your top five values, chances are it won’t happen the way or may not happen the way you were expecting it to. You won’t see the steps to lead you to it because it’s not on your radar.

Imagine realising you were receiving an extra $100 a week but because you have a higher value on personal development than financial wealth building, you didn’t see it! 

For example, receiving a business coaching session at work as part of your job (probably worth $100+ in the coaches wages) – thus boosting your confidence and investing in yourself and your career. And you thought you were a terrible manifestor!    

Q4: What do I think about?

What I think about comes about. What are the underlying stories, beliefs and thoughts that I tell myself everyday? Do they fit this new story of having this thing I desire? Is there a past situation that keeps me stuck and needs to be resolved so I can move towards what my desire?

Imagine thinking “I never have money” over and over again while receiving these amazing coaching sessions through work each week. Yet your thoughts and beliefs fail to see the gift and value in these – that someone’s time and energy is just as valuable as a financial exchange… that your time and energy is valuable as a financial exchange. This could potentially lead you to explore your beliefs around “my time and energy is valuable” – and by realising the truth in the statement, you are then able to transmute the original statement “I never have money” because you do have money in the form of time and energy and how you exchange it with the others.

Motivation (reality and direction) 

What is the motivation for the desire? Where are we at right now (our reality), where will we be when we have the thing we want (our direction) and what is the driving force that will get us there.

Take a moment and consider the following in relation to your desire/s:

• what do I fear?
• what am I anxious about?
• what am I avoiding?
• what am I seeking?

Use these answers to build your internal motivation and move one step closer to getting into alignment with your desires.  

The cue (will I or won’t I initiate the action)

What will initiate us into action? We don’t have the things we want for a reason. Manifestation is a co-creation process.

Once we have the awareness and the internal motivation, we need to ask ourselves:

• Am I willing to step out of my current reality?
• Am I ready to question my thoughts, beliefs and actions created from my past to have what I want?
• Am I willing to get uncomfortable?
• Am I will to make changes?

Action steps now and in the future (thinking and planning)

This is where we act on that decision to either initiate the cue or shut off the cue. Is there enough value and motivation behind the desire, to act on this cue (or evolution of the cue) over and over again, until we become the person with the thing we desired?

The desire for what we want needs to be stronger than the comfort of staying where we are. This is where we get to think about who the person is that has what we desire:

• What would they do, say, feel?
• How can I be that person today? 

Sometimes this step is easy – a simple decision because there’s not much of a gap between who we are today and who we are when we have the thing we so desire. 

Other times they can seem like miles apart which is why we need to take the time to look at ourselves on a whole other level – our thoughts, beliefs, emotions, habits, childhood experiences, self-worth, resilience, values and inner dialogue. 

We need to think and plan our actions so that we can move into alignment with what we desire. 

Emotional state (with self and the desire)

Imagine being so tired and stressed out or stuck in your judgment of others that you missed the love of your life staring you in the face.

So caught up in wanting that you were not able to receive the gifts right in front of you.

So desperate for the end goal to come into your reality that you missed the small steps in front of you that would lead you there.

Imagine abandoning your original desire because it felt unattainable and the distance you had travelled long and hopeless…

But if you just turned around, opened your eyes and saw how far you had come you would be filled with gratitude and motivation to continue. 

When we are stuck in survival emotions (doubt, fear, anger, worry, guilt, shame, judgement, etc) it’s hard to step into creative and growth mode. we end up manifesting more of what we already have or are focused on.

But when we invite and embody elevated emotions (love, gratitude, peace, wholeness, presence, etc) we are more conscious and clearer with our actions, intentions and thoughts, and we can bring more of it into our lives. It’s amazing who and what we begin to attract – people, opportunities and challenges come into our reality – all here to prepare and take us where we want to go.

It is important to be aware of and observe our emotional state – and when we sit with them, embody them and transmute them, we can naturally grow and evolve. In doing so we will be able to see our manifestations come into sight and be ready to act and draw them into our life.

What happens when things don’t go our way?

We are taught to aim high, to keep moving forward, to not worry about the past, to focus on the future, to stay positive, to stay strong.

But when things aren’t going our way, that feeling of hopelessness and overwhelm can cause our inner critic to bring a bag of “doubt” into our mind.

It wants to protect us from feeling this pain of failure in making our dreams into reality, and so too often we call it quits too early, palming it off as “manifestation doesn’t work for me”, “it’s just some hippy, “The Secret” crap, there’s no science behind it.”

If we dig a little deeper under these surface-level statements, we may find our inner critic also saying things like “You aimed too high, who do you think you are? You’re not good enough to get there.”

But what if we went further than the thoughts of old narratives and our inner critic was actually providing a buffer between us and our feelings. What if instead of going to war with our inner critic – resisting it or letting it take over, we embraced it.

What if we sat with it and asked:

• “What do you see that I don’t – did I miss some steps?”
• “What skills, gifts and experiences did I not see?”
• “What feelings am I resisting?”
• “What beliefs are holding me back?”
• “ What do I need to be in alignment?”
• “ What steps do I need to take or review to get there?” 

In making this connection with our inner critic and giving it a job to do (instead of making us its job) we can start to integrate the inner parts of ourselves in a deeper, more meaningful and supportive way.

Make time to reflect

Now you know the five fundamentals to aligning with your desires (also known as manifesting), take a moment and reflect:

• What desires have manifested and what ones haven’t come to fruition yet? 
• What have you learnt about yourself in looking at the fundamentals? 
• Where did desires fall into place easily, what ones took longer or where harder to receive? 
• What desires are you waiting on and do you need to work on any of the key fundamentals to move into alignment with it?  

Need support?

Sometimes getting into alignment can seem like hard work – like you trying to sort out boxes of old stuff in your garage at night with a small torch.

Sometimes we just need someone to take our hand and show us where the light is, so we can see things from a new perspective.

Other times it’s giving us the keys to open the door so we can clear some stuff out! This can also mean sitting in with you while you wait for the dark, stormy night to pass and the bright, sunny skies to come out.

Either one, I’m here to support you. Book your free 1:1 session here or send me an email with your question at info@amydoyle.com.au.

If you felt that you are getting into alignment with your desires and want to learn more about mental health we have other articles Here.